venerdì 23 settembre 2022

M'astengo.


Questioni importanti, problematiche sociali, ambientali… discussioni infinite che non portano a nulla e risolvono ancor meno, provvedimenti disegnati come definitivi ma che all'occhio di una profana appaiono come palliativi o falsamente migliorativi. È uno di quei periodi (tanti ormai, non li conto più) in cui non sono sorda a ciò che accade intorno a me, a ciò che viene detto, non sono cieca, ma allo stesso tempo tutto è lontano, sfocato, inconsistente. Nessuno si schiera. Nessuno dice ciò che vorrei ascoltare. Nessuno fa, o fa abbastanza. Nessuno è minimamente vicino a ciò che sento come fondamentale, vitale, essenziale. Sono a favore di libertà di aborto, eutanasia, maggiore equità sociale e maggiore equità nella distribuzione dell'onere fiscale, a favore del riconoscimento del diritto a sposarsi di tutti, della salvaguardia dell'ambiente. Sono contro ogni forma di disuguaglianza, corruzione, razzismo, tutti i respingimenti in mare e le punizioni dei soccorritori. Non posso votare per razzisti, filo-putiniani, democristiani, bigotti, corrotti e corruttori, inquinatori e distruttori della natura, omofobi e fascisti. È il motivo per cui non voto da decenni. Lo so, non è buono, non è giusto, non è utile. Ma io non voto. Non voterò.


I am abstaining. Important issues. Climate change, social issues. Endless discussions with a political class more interested in burnishing its image than tackling the problems. Measures presented as definitive measures, but then they turn really palliative remedies or several limited improvement projects. Today is one of those times: I'm not deaf to what goes on around me, I'm not blind, but everything is far away, blurry, insubstantial. Anyone representing me, anyone sides with and certainly don't tell me what I want to hear. Nobody makes nothing. What I feel vital, crucial, essential… I'm pro-abortion, I'm pro-euthanasy, openly in favour of social fairness and greater fairness in the distribution of the tax burden, recognition of the right to marry for all, environmental protection… I'm against all forms of inequality, all forms of exploitation, corruption, racism, all the pushbacks at the sea and punishment rescuers… I can't vote for racists, pro-putin, dc representatives, bigots, corrupted and corruptors, polluters and nature destroyers, homophobes and fascists. They're not even close to getting it. This is the reason I'm abstaining for years. I know, that's not good, not right, not helpful. But I don't vote. I will not vote.

🎧 Fuzzy. Grant Lee Buffalo. Music of nineties, to remind me of when we all had high hopes, largely disregarded hopes.

giovedì 25 agosto 2022

Better before

Io sono la fautrice del 'Era meglio prima'. Anche se non ricordo molto bene come fosse questo meglio. Nostalgica del non realizzato. La sostenitrice dell'incompiuto. Non mi nego niente, ci rifletto su tanto… dieci secondi, mi butto, ma poi vorrei tornare indietro. È lo slancio nel tuffo che è meraviglioso, l'atto della penetrazione dello specchio d'acqua. La riemersione no, il respiro no. Sono la viaggiatrice che ama perdersi. L'amante appagata nel sentir godere. Io sono quella col finale aperto, tristissimo per i più, ma inaspettato e niente scontato per me. Perché sono sbagliata e fuori luogo. Sono la precaria in tutto. Il posto fisso non ce l'ho nemmeno nella vita. Lo trovo, forse, ma poi dico a me stessa 'le faremo sapere'. E appallottolo il foglietto su cui ho annotato il numero. Il mio. Io sono la figura mitologica un terzo donna, un terzo giumenta, un terzo lupa. In testa un cespuglio infestato di serpenti, sulla spalla una civetta, in groppa un gatto nero. Ho immaginazione, la uso per sconfiggere la noia della realtà e la banalità del tutto uguale. Io sono l'alchimista del 'non si può fare'. È tutto talmente perfetto che finisce. E si resta digiuni. Io per prima. Perché a me non basta mai nulla. Eppure mangio e bevo poco. Ma consumo molto. Io sono la magàra che prepara pozioni. Efficaci per gli altri. La mia non mi riesce. Stessa dose di passione, sentimento, corpo e anima, ma poi ne verso più della metà. E rido. Perché io non sono normale. Per nulla. Sono la vampira del tempo. Non ne perdo nemmeno un secondo, ne suggo ogni goccia, ma sono io poi quella esangue. Perché io sono quella forte. Sì. Ma in una storia fantastica.


🇬🇧 I'm the proponent of 'it was better before' though I can't remember what it was. I'm nostalgic for the never realized. I'm the supporter of the unfinished. I don't deny anything, I think about it so much… ten seconds, I throw myself, but then I'd go back. How wonderful is the momentum dip, the water penetration. Not the resurfacing, not the breath. I love getting lost. I take satisfaction in your enjoyment. I'm the one with an open-ending, sad for most people, surprising and not at all obvious for me. I'm wrong and out of place. I'm precarious in total. I have no fixed place, not even in private life. Ok, maybe I find him, but then I say to myself 'we'll get back to you', then I ball up the paper on which I wrote down my number. I'm the mythological figure one-third-woman, one-third-horse, one-third-wolf, a snake infested bush on my head, an owl on my shoulder, a black cat on my back. I use my imagination to defeat the boredom of reality and the triviality of the same whole thing. I'm the alchemist of 'no can do'. It's all so perfect that it ends up. So I'll fast. Because I want more. Yet I don't eat much, I don't drink much. I burn many calories. I'm the 'magàra' (apulian witch) who brew potions effective for other people. Not for me. Same dose of passion, feeling, body and soul, but then I throw away more than half of it. And I laugh. Because I'm not normal. I'm the vampyre of time, without losing a second, I suck every drop, but then I'm the bloodless one. Because I'm strong but into an otherworldly tale.


They're so incredibile that don't exist.


Milano giugno 2022.
Black lace blouse. Lace headband.
Upcycling. On stage. To.
🎧 Bloody shadows from a distance. Lena Platonos. (<3 Greek Dub Music)

domenica 17 luglio 2022

My fifty.

I'm not easy. Those who pretend to care about you and well, actually they don't. They say they like you and if they don't like you… they don't tell you.

He says he likes you, very much, when the specimens of man perform these peculiar courtship dances. At first… he must be impeccable. Convincing. He's kind and thoughtful. He fills me with all manner of attention.

He needs to be prepared to make a good impression. He and her aren't that different. 'You're not so far'. 'You are not so different from me, really'.  Then he struggle. Gets evasive. 

He devolves into banality. Such a gentleman. What a coward.

I'm not easy. I'm different. So far. 

Being in society. I can't. I don't know. I travel by camper, I eat with my hands, I lick my fingers, I sleep in the tent. I'm not a serious woman. I'm strong. I don't need care and any attention. I'm a free woman.

Or at least it looks that way.

I just can't get enough. I can't get enough of me. Is always too little. Time. Space. Life. Love. I can't delight no one. I can't. No matter how hard I try to please… to welcome… 

This is way.

What a pity. Such a waste. Of time. Of will. Of pleasure.

I'm not easy. I'm different. So far. 



Anversa. Luglio 2022. My fifty years.

Simple. I'm not easy. I'm across. I'm beyond. 

I'm inside, inside people, inside things.


🎧 Animal Instinct. The Cranberries.

lunedì 13 giugno 2022

I had this dream…


Digital Illustration. Snow C.

I dreamed her that way, dressed with light snow and freezing drizzle, silhouetted in the blue cobalt sky, while the snow falls and covers everything like a blanket during the winter months.

She had the greenest eyes I had ever seen, that particular green that I only saw two times in my life, in Scandinavia and on the mountains of the region where she lived.

I don't know her. But we talked a lot. About imagination, music, literature, poetry, fantasy, theatre, movies… and colors. We could get along. On almost everything… Or maybe not.

🎧 Bad as me. Nadia Schilling.

I'm out of sight. On almost all the social… My works


and here:

giovedì 26 maggio 2022

antivirus


Digital Illustration. Beyond, Clouds pure essence
Number 2. Me in Clouds Series.

What's the excuse for what you put me through… 

You should know. 

But I'm sick of talking about it. That's all. 

I'm tired of holding your head up. 

I'm rigged to blow.


She could write songs. She could do so many things. You ask her to explain before she explodes. What a shame, you wasted it. You, the worst disappointment.

🎧 She. Laura Mvula.


I'm out of sight. On almost all the social… My works


and here:

venerdì 22 aprile 2022

The woman of no return.





Thought I’d found them… But no. I'm standing. My body lie, but still I roam. And they are death. Bad deaths. Deaths not worth thinking about, and so I don't, as I wander these tunnels, lost, waiting to run out of oxygen.

The woman of no return keeps wandering.

🏔 Monti Sibillini. Meraviglia.

🎧 Migration Feathers. General Elektriks.

lunedì 21 marzo 2022

lakes tour

My trip. I began in Castel San Vincenzo, Molise.




Three regions, a lot of villages, green, colours, black, blue, stars, tents, trees, stones, cows, sheeps, wolves, roe deer, foxes, cats, holes, solids, voids, empty and full spaces, and in the middle of all this there's me and my need to know more, to get out, to always travel… again and again. I found out lakes have nothing to envy to the crowded seas.








I finished it in Guardialfiera, Molise.
August. September 2021.